You are GRACED, not graded...

So it’s the middle of the quarter, last quarter of the year, and I have this huge problem called PROCRASTINATION.  Wait, I've always had it, not just this quarter.  So I was feeling, I’m still not good at assessing these kids.  Am I focused on the most accurate grading criteria?  I have 7 standards; can I just grade those specifically?  Yet, it’s just easier to categorize them as I have already. 

I said to myself, “I’m so glad I’m not graded.”  Grading is so stressful and not fun.  The anxiety of it all is just too much.  Can you imagine being the one graded?  The students, they must feel it, especially if they care.   Have you ever felt like you just haven't done enough?  Or enough of the right things?  Or you know you've done too much wrong?  And there is not enough time to do the right things to balance out all of the wrong you've done in life?  What pressure!

It’s taken me a very long time to stop climbing the merit ladder, you know the one the world climbs and falls from so often?  It’s just an endless attempt to climb higher and the moment you fall, you feel like you hit every rung of the ladder on the way down?  Either way, you’re battered, bruised and possibly broken; spiritually, emotionally and physically.   How about taking the elevator next time?  That may be much easier.  Only this time, let’s call it God’s lift. 

God’s lift is called GRACE. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8).  God is high and lifted up, He has lifted you up with him.  You have been saved, chosen for Heaven through your faith.  When you heard the Word, you combined your hearing with faith, and then confessed that Jesus is Lord.  In that moment, you stepped into God’s work of grace.  He has lifted you off of your merit ladder.  Are you tired of climbing already?  Now you can rest. 

So often as a teacher, when I pass back graded papers, I see and hear the students cheer and share their grades.  They boast carelessly and often.  Why do they boast?  Because at school they are completing tasks all on their own, their grade is their own.  That is what we, teachers, say to them, that is what they have come to believe because they hear this all the time.  Of course they would boast!  But what if I wrote “GRACE” on their paper?  I know exactly what their reaction would be…I can see it now.  

Some students would turn their head to the side and squint their eyes in confusion, “What is that?  What does "GRACE" mean?”  Why did you write that?  Is that good?  Is that bad?  Did you grade this?  They would honestly be dumb-founded, simply because students are so programmed for clarity in their own eyes.  And so are we. 

The things we see clearly are so much more comforting.  The things you can check off of your checklist make you feel good, like you’re headed in the right direction.  You feel accomplished.  But what about the days, you’re completely unproductive, you feel like a slob and you accomplish nothing?  Can you catch up with only the moments you have left in the day?  Most likely it's impossible.  

That is when God writes “Grace” across your entire to-do list.  He has done this all of your life!  Not only on the days you mess up, but even on your best days.  All of your days’ work doesn’t compare to God’s work of GRACE!  What do you choose, keep climbing on your merit ladder, climbing and falling repeatedly, like the world?  Or God’s lift, the one that is lifted high and lifted up? 

Running His Race,

Erin Beth

His Loving Kindness will lead me...

        How is it that approaching God in need of repentance is so intimidating? When he asks of us just ONE thing?  To turn as seek His face because He longs to be gracious to us?  Go and proclaim these words towards the north and say, “Return, faithless Israel,” declares the Lord; I will not look upon you in anger.  For I am gracious; declares the Lord; I will not be angry forever.  Only acknowledge your iniquity, that you have transgressed against the Lord your God and have scattered your favors to the strangers under every green tree, and you have not obeyed my voice,’ declares the Lord.  (Jeremiah 3)

The other day, I ran 5 miles.  I passed a certain building that said, “The house of self-realization.”  Really???  Self-Realization???  If I wouldn’t have received Holy Spirit-revelation, I would not be here right now!  Feeling uneasy, I started to pray to God as I ran passed this building.  I cried out to God.  I began to pray out loud for all the people who came to my heart.  It was a flood!  At one point, it may have been best to get on my knees in the middle of the dark running path because I just knew I needed to, but I didn’t.  I asked God to forgive me when I hadn’t been willing to forgive my mother-in-law.  I asked God for forgiveness because I had such a hard heart towards her.  This made me weak.  I prayed that God would be with her and become real to her, because all of her children, my husband included, need her.  How could I be so insensitive to my husband’s mother?  How dishonoring to him.  It bothers me that I can be so callous!    

Jesus came to save sinners like me, the ones who don’t have life all together.  The ones who are not perfect!  Oh perfect!  He doesn’t need a perfect Me, He needs a person who recognizes that their sin is great and their need for a Savior is even greater!  I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.  (Luke 15)  Oh how I don’t want to be part of the ninety-nine righteous persons!!!

Please God chip away at the callousness in my heart with your Word so that repentance in me would become more evident on this journey.  Thank you for your loving kindness and patience with me. You know my insides, you know my sin, you know my heart and it’s desires.  Help me to run your race laying down every sin that hinders me.  Thank you that on this Easter weekend, the one we call Resurrection Sunday, Christ gave up His life for me, died on a cross for my sin and for the sin of those who believe, and on the third day He ROSE again in victory over sin and death!

Running His Race

Erin Beth

Luke 5: 31

And Jesus answered and said to them, “It is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick.  I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”

Acts 19:4

Paul said, “John baptized with the baptism of repentance, telling the people to believe in Him who was coming after him, that is, in Jesus.”  When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 

2 Corinthians 7:10

For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance that is without regret, leading to salvation, but he sorrow of the world produces death. 

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.

Isaiah 30:15-17

For thus the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, has said, “In repentance and rest you will be saved, in quietness and trust is your strength.”  But you were not willing, and you said, “No, for we will flee on horses,” therefore you shall flee!  “And we will ride on swift horses,” Therefore those who pursue you shall be swift.  One thousand will flee at the threat of one man; you will flee at the threat of five, until you are left as a flag on a mountain top and as a signal on a hill. 

Isaiah 30:18

Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.  For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him. 

Character before Accomplishment

   This race that has been set before me is all about my character.  My character is more valuable than any accomplishment I can lay at the feet of Jesus.  Whether in good times or in bad; it is tribulation that brings about perseverance and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.  (Romans 5)

For the last 6 years, I have been a Spanish teacher, paving my own way for the success of my students.  Over the past year, in an effort to build my students’ self-esteem and confidence in the face of tremendous peer pressure, I have tried to motivate them to be confident in their answers and careless about perfection.   

So today,  I gave my students an end of the year growth assessment.  At the end of the assessment, one student in particular was very worried.  She was the last one in place at her desk after all the other students left my classroom.  I told her, “I noticed you started and then stayed stuck in one place for a while on your assessment.  I said, “You’re always able to skip around, but if you stay stuck you lose time.”  After I walked away she came to my desk and said, “I just don’t want to let my team down.” 

You see she is involved in sports and drama club.  And she is just an all-around good student.  In that moment, while she was speaking, I realized that character comes before all things, my assessment and her grade.   I told her, “You’re character matters more than your grade.”  Our character is invaluable in the eyes of God, and I am so glad His grace covers my lack most moments of every day. 

                They say your character is defined by what you do when no one else is looking.  Can we talk about the things we do in secret?  Or are things we do in secret left unspoken due to your shame?  Jesus has taken your sin and nailed it to the cross.  When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He hast taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. (Colossians 2) He has taken your shame as well, because you are no longer guilty in the eyes of the Father.  I urge you to walk or run in the Light.   

Matthew 12: 33

Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. 

Matthew 12:35

The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil. 

Romans 5: 1-5

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we also have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.  And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character, hope;  and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hears through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Running His Race

So who am I kidding?  I guess I kid myself all the time, but I cannot fake it anymore.  The reality is that my life journey is really His race.  My life journey belongs to Him, the One who laid down His life for me on the cross.  His name is Jesus, the Christ, the Son of God.

His Race chosen for me...

Life = 30.5 years            (08/09/1983)
Living with Jesus = 10.1 years         (2/25/2004)
Teaching Spanish = 6 years          (8/2008)
Marriage = 4 years          (3/20/2010)
Trying for babies = 10 months          (6/20/2013)
Fitness = 3.5 months               (1/1/2014)

All these journeys are His!  They are surrendered to the One who knows my life, my breath, and the depths of my heart.  I thank God because all of these journeys are a work in progress in me.  They all have one purpose because God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

I cannot wait to see where His race carries me on this Earth, but the one thing I know for sure is that the Earth isn't my final destination.  Jesus comforting his disciples said, "Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  In my Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.  If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also."

Galatians 5:7

You were running well; who hindered you from obeying the truth?  This persuasion did not come from Him who calls you.

Galatians 5:16-17

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.  For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.

Galations 5:24

Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with it's passions and desires.

Acts 20:24

But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God.

2 Timothy 4: 7-8

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.


Running His Race,
Erin Beth